


Shades

by CatKing_Catkin



Series: Widomauk Week [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Caleb Widogast, Asexual Caduceus Clay, Bisexual Mollymauk Tealeaf, Bisexual Yasha, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Frumpkin (Critical Role) is an Emotional Support Animal, Gay Pride, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Mollymauk Tealeaf, Hugs, Kissing, Lesbian Beauregard (Critical Role), Light Angst, Love, M/M, Nonbinary Mollymauk Tealeaf, Nott & Caleb Widogast Friendship, POV Mollymauk Tealeaf, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Caleb Widogast, Pansexual Jester, Pansexual Nott, Pride, Pride Parades, Romantic Fluff, Scars, Sequel, Team as Family, Trans Caleb Widogast, Trans Mollymauk Tealeaf, Urban Fantasy, trans fjord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:04:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19129807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatKing_Catkin/pseuds/CatKing_Catkin
Summary: Pride Month has come to Nicodranus Row, and the neighborhood plans to celebrate in style as always. But though Caleb is the newest arrival to the neighborhood, he soon proves the most anxious about leaving its relative safety, even with a parade around him.Molly tries to convince him that all is well and his new community has his back. But more importantly, they try to convince Caleb that whatever decision he makes, what matters most is taking some time to love and take pride in himself, however he thinks best.(Written for Widomauk Week 2019, Day 2, prompt "modern AU". Also written as a followup to "Indelible", but can be read on its own.)





	Shades

**Author's Note:**

> Molly's outfit is very much inspired by a similar getup I saw someone wearing at my own city's Pride Parade. He was a cool dude.

“You know this is not because I am ashamed of you, _ja?_ ”

Molly glanced up from lacing up their boots, a curious frown on their face. “Say again?”

Caleb was still sitting on the couch, running his fingers anxiously through Frumpkin’s fur. Having gotten Molly’s attention, he promptly blushed and stared shamefaced at his lap. “Why I am not marching. You know it does not mean I am ashamed of you, don’t you? Of us?”

“Caleb…” Molly’s expression softened into a gentle smile. They went immediately to flop down on Caleb’s other side, throwing an arm around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. “Of course I know. I admit, I don’t know why you’re _actually_ not marching, but that’s still your choice to make. And I will enthusiastically step on the toes of anyone who gives you grief for it.” They languidly stretched one leg over Caleb’s lap, the better to show off the wickedly-heeled stiletto boots they’d pulled out for the occasion. “Not an idle threat today, I’ll have you know.”

Caleb laughed lightly, returning Molly’s kiss and then shoving their leg off. “These are terrible boots to march in.”

“Oh, I’m aware. That’s why I plan to have Yasha carry me back and spend the rest of the day commandeering the bathroom.”

“Still, ah, that sounds quite exhausting. Especially in this heat.”

“It is. Even for me, when it gets this bad. But it’s fun, too, Caleb, it’s _so_ much fun. We hardly ever get a chance to get everyone all together like this, and it’s just…it’s just nice to be seen together, and have _fun_ being seen. It’s good to show off sometimes.”

Still smiling softly, Caleb trailed a knuckle along the curling lines of Molly’s peacock tattoo. “And what do you call this?”

Molly caught Caleb’s wrist and brought it to their mouth to kiss. “Living my life. What else?” They felt Caleb’s pulse jump under their lips in response to their words, and then it was their turn to smile.

When he spoke again, he sounded almost raw. “Gods, I love you.”

They threaded their fingers through his and squeezed, just once. “And I love you. No matter how inexplicable you get sometimes. Honestly, it’s part of your charm.”

Caleb smiled weakly, squeezing Molly’s hand in turn, and then pleasantly surprising Molly by leaning close to rest his head on their shoulder. He’d been a little twitchy for the past couple of days, constantly on edge despite his best efforts to pretend otherwise. So this return to something more like their normal form was encouraging, and they didn’t hesitate to stroke Caleb’s hair and share that encouragement with him.

“It’s just,” Caleb said, and then he closed his mouth sharply. Molly saw him visibly swallow, then try again. “It’s such a long way. Well outside the neighborhood. And I, ah. Haven’t left. Since I moved here.”

Molly opened their mouth to say that this couldn’t be right…and then they closed it again, thinking back. With a jolt, they realized that Caleb was right. He’d been living with Molly here in Nicodranus Row for months now, and in all that time, he’d never actually left the boundaries of their strange little neighborhood.

This wasn’t unusual in and of itself, of course. Nicodranus Row was beautifully self-contained – Nila ran a tidy grocery store with her husband and son, the Gentleman ran the best club this side of the river, Shakaste always set up on the corner most mornings to sell newspapers and trade gossip. Besides, most all of Molly’s friends, and especially Molly themself, were usually so busy tending to their own business or running favors for one another that the days just flew by without ever leaving them the time to range further out into the city itself. Caleb kept himself especially busy doing odd jobs for anyone who would have him, so this had been especially the case for him.

“I thought you’d be glad to finally get the chance,” was what they said out loud, regarding him quizzically. “Getting to see some fresh sights now and then is good for you.” They tapped Caleb lightly on the forehead to punctuate the point. “Though they wouldn’t be fresh sights for you, would they? I think we’d be going past some of your old stomping grounds.”

Caleb immediately went pale as a sheet, twisting his fingers in his lap so hard that Molly was briefly afraid he’d do himself damage. “That is, um,” he stammered, in a voice little more than a choked whisper. “That is precisely the problem. There are things I do not wish to remember, Mollymauk. And people I _cannot_ see.”

Ah.  

Molly had thought things had simply worked out that way. They’d thought Caleb might be excited for the chance to range beyond his usual haunts. They didn’t realize that staying so very close to his new home had been an active choice on his part.

“Caleb,” they murmured, low and sad. He’d gone back to being so whipcord tense that they were afraid he’d shatter if they touched him or pressed too close. And indeed, at the sound of his name, Caleb got up suddenly from the couch and started to pace the living room. Frumpkin chirped softly and got up from the couch to pace at his heels, back and forth, back and forth, clearly braced for a good moment to jump up onto his shoulders and scarf around his neck.

“Astrid,” he said, forcing the word out like it was poison to be expelled. “Eodwulf.” He shuddered. He opened his mouth, started to say something, then closed it sharply and took a whimpery breath. “I, I wasn’t supposed to run that night, Molly. They, th-they will be very angry with me. And they are not forgiving people. If they s-see me—”

“Then you’ll be surrounded by people to protect you,” Molly said, gently but firmly. “Honestly, Caleb, you’ll be as safe as you could ever be. And Jester’s already told me she’s planning to film the entire bloody parade so she can show her mother later. She must have brought three separate charger packs just to make sure.”

Caleb squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, hunching his shoulders, curling in on himself. Molly was moving to try and comfort him before they could even really think about it, though Frumpkin got there first.  The cat bounded up, clawed his way up Caleb’s back for the few inches he didn’t cover alone, and then settled comfortably in his favorite spot around the human’s shoulders, purring and nuzzling at Caleb’s cheek. That at least got another weak little laugh out of Caleb, and made him uncurl enough that Molly wasn’t quite as afraid to touch him. In fact, when they tentatively stroked the backs of their fingers down his cheek, Caleb seized his hand in a surprisingly fierce grip. Molly could feel his fingers shaking.

“You are the ones who would be in danger,” he whispered, low and fierce. “And just the thought of putting you in their path makes me _sick_ with myself. You, all of you, you are _too important_ to me. The fact that you have let me hide here is, is more than enough. I will handle the rest. I can manage.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Molly murmured. This time, they slid their hands up to cradle Caleb’s face, the better to tip their foreheads together. “We manage together. We figure things out together. That’s supposed to be how this _works_ , dearest.”

Caleb’s hands were clammy when they came to rest against his cheeks, but at least he _was_ reaching out. With the state he was in, that wasn’t nothing. He’d recently started leaving off the bandages from around his arms. The scars he bore all along the skin there stood out stark and harsh in the bright summer sunlight streaming through the window. Molly had never asked how he got them, but knew he hadn’t had them when he’d first come swanning into the tattoo parlor with Astrid and Eodwulf on either arm.

“It’s you I am most frightened for,” he whispered. “Those two, they could be, um…they could be. Very jealous. Even when they had no cause to be.”

Now this was slightly familiar territory. Molly grinned easily and kissed Caleb’s forehead. “They don’t exactly have cause to be _now_ , do they? You’re not with them. You’re with _me_.” Molly was not a being prone to jealousy, there was no possessiveness in their tone or intended by their words. The principle of the matter was as much about Caleb being free from jealous partners as anything else. They hoped he knew that, but there was so much wrong to address that they scarcely knew where to start. “And honestly, Caleb, it’s not like this will be the first time I’ve had people being jealous at me before. I’m a big tiefling, I can deal with it.”

They could tell that they had soothed some of his fears, enough that they no longer feared leaving him alone for a prolonged period of time. And yet, along with the love that shone in his eyes and the soft smile on his face, the vibrating, knife-edged tension in his shoulders and hands remained.

Molly bit back a sigh, kept the smile on their face with only a slight effort of will, then kissed Caleb properly and smoothed their hands all up and down his arms. “And one of the things I can deal with is you needing some time to yourself and wanting to stay out of this godsawful heat. None of us are going to think the slightest bit less of you if you want to stay inside, darling. Of course not. _I’m_ certainly not. In fact, if you have drinks waiting by the time we all get back, I think we might just declare you the undisputed king of the neighborhood.”

Caleb chuckled, and this time it sounded less like the sound bore the threat of tears with it. He angled closer to kiss Molly on the nose, to tuck a stray curl of hair behind their ears and fuss with the ties on their vest. “I can do that.” They both knew that Nila would probably be running a deep discount on drinks all day, and the Gentleman had already put the word out that happy hour would be starting just as soon as the parade ended today. They had options. That was one of the best parts about living in Nicodranus Row, really – you always had options.

Things settled back into a quieter rhythm after that. Molly finished getting themself made up for the parade, while Caleb went through the contents of their bag to make sure they had everything they’d need to stay safe in the heat and maybe keep some of the others safe too. Finally, Molly came strutting out of the bathroom in their stilettos with their makeup done and their cape around their shoulders. Their vest was a deep pink, their skirt was a deep cobalt blue, and their stomach was bare. One knee-high sock was done in yellow, white, and purple strikes, the other in pink, white, and blue.  They spread the rainbow cloth of their cape wide like a pair of wings and struck a pose. “How do I look?”

They could see Caleb visibly struggling for words, for how best to answer. There was a bad moment where they couldn’t quite parse how he was looking at them, then the word came to mind – _transfixed._ And that was very encouraging indeed.

“You look like you,” he finally said, sounding as if his throat had gone very dry. And then, damn and bless him, but he went to grab his phone to snap a picture before Molly could go over and kiss him silly.

After he’d snapped a few shots to his apparent satisfaction, they _did_ grab their own phone for the sake of going over and roping him into a selfie or tow. “Nott will never let me hear the end of it otherwise.” And even as he blushed to have the camera turned on him, he smiled at the mention of his sometimes-employer and always-friend and so tolerated the good-natured manhandling with equally good grace.

It was then that Molly’s phone buzzed. They unlocked it to see a text from Yasha waiting. _Downstairs. Others should be here soon. You ready?_

They texted back a quick thumbs up in reply, then turned to Caleb. “Well, that’s my ride. You have fun today, Caleb. Hog the TV, use all my good soaps in the bathroom, eat us out of house and home. Just…celebrate yourself. However you want to.”

“I will think of something,” he said. His smile seemed easy, his shoulders were relaxed, and Molly’s heart ached with love for him. When he stepped forward to give them a careful hug, mindful of their makeup, they were happy to cling fiercely to him in turn. “You do the same, my Mollymauk. I love you.”

If their voice was a little choked when they replied, he was kind enough not to say anything. “Love you, too.”

It had taken them both a while to figure out how to say those words out loud, and now Molly felt very definitely that they could never be said enough.

But sometimes being in love meant accepting that you both wanted to do your own thing for a day, and a part of Pride was accepting that people could take pride in themselves in different ways. So Molly left with a wave over their shoulder, heading down the stairs, into the quiet shop – closed up for the day, of course – and out onto the sidewalk, where most of the rest of the gang had already gathered, proudly bearing their own respective regalia.

Nott had dyed a hoodie in a chaotic mix of deep pink, yellow, and blue – Jester had done the same with a long, billowing bell skirt. Beau had abandoned her usual shades of blue for shades of orange, white, and pink. Somehow, Fjord had finally decided to wear a shirt cut low enough to show off his binder. Maybe that had only been a concession to the heat, maybe not – Molly made sure to clap him enthusiastically on the back either way. He otherwise wore his colors more subtly, in the form of a new patch on his jacket in the shape of a blue, pink, and white heart, in the gauzy rainbow scarf around his neck. But they seemed to shine in the sun all the same. Caduceus, meanwhile, had a purple, white, and black bow affixed to his mane of curly pink hair and a length of green, white, and black ribbon tied primly to the end of his tail. He’d otherwise come wearing his normal, comfortable clothes, perpetually stained with dirt at the hems. Knowing Caduceus, he’d probably forgotten about the parade entirely until Jester had reminded him and offered him some of the ribbons from the basket she carried on her arm.

And then there was Yasha, who had a cape like Molly’s around her shoulders except hers’ was a gentle lavender color, dotted with flowers. She’d had it for as long as Molly had known her. Otherwise, not even the summer heat would make her abandon her comfort zone of black and white, though as they drew near to kiss her cheek, Molly saw with a thrill that she’d dyed the usually white ends of her hair in shades of pink, blue, and purple that matched their clothes and skin precisely.

“Sorry I’m fashionably late, all,” Molly said, after they’d given Yasha her kiss and regained their balance. The sight of them all assembled there in a rainbow made them beam. “And I’m sorry I’m going to have to make you wait a minute longer.” They whipped out their camera and brought it to their eye, getting the camera app opened in a flash. “Smile!”

Marvel of marvels, they actually did. Even Beau, just a little. Then Nott rummaged around in her bag, pulled out a water bottle, and pressed it into Molly’s hands. “Don’t be stupid just because you’re a tiefling! We’ve got a long walk today!”

“Yes, ma’am!” They gave her a mock salute and then tucked the bottle into Yasha’s bag, knowing from experience that she always had the bigger pockets.

“My turn, my turn!” Jester cried, fumbling for her phone. She got it up, apparently got the camera turned on and the video recording, and started to turn slowly to get them all in sight. “Hi, mom, I made it! The parade’s gonna start real soon! Everybody say ‘hi, mom!’”

“Hi, mom!” they all answered obediently, happily.

As she surveyed the scene through the eye of her phone, Molly saw Jester’s eyes go wide with surprise as her gaze passed over the front of the shop proper. A scant second later, Molly heard the bell ring as the door opened, heard a familiar voice panting in exertion, heard that same familiar voice say: “O-Oh, good. I, I thought I might have missed you all.”

“Nah, you know us,” Fjord said, going to throw a companionable arm around Caleb’s shoulders. “We never miss a chance to waste time and fuck around.”

“Which isn’t a bad thing,” Caduceus added mildly. “It gives people a chance to catch up.”

Nott was beaming proudly as she passed Caleb a water bottle, which he accepted with a grateful nod and tucked into the spacious tote bag he’d slung over one arm. Jester sidled up before him, holding out her basket. “Do you want any ribbons, Caleb? It’s okay if you don’t.”

Molly caught themself holding their breath but very pointedly did not look away from Yasha, very deliberately kept working out their dinner plans with her, tried their damndest not to add another pair of eyes onto Caleb and any more pressure onto his decision.

But they saw him rummaging through the basket, and then:

“Mollymauk? Could you help me tie these, please?”

They all but bounded over to Caleb’s side, nearly turning an ankle in their enthusiasm, to accept first a pink, yellow, and blue ribbon, then a blue, pink, and white one. His hair wasn’t quite long enough to braid, so Molly tied each around his wrists instead.

They stepped back to regard him, and he grinned in a way that managed to be sheepish and proud at the same time, so that Molly was so overcome with love that they were moved to take advantage of their newfound height advantage and pull him into both a kiss and a dip. Caleb let out the most adorable startled squeak. Jester obligingly did not snap a picture, but Molly saw as he straightened up that this was only because she’d been inspired to pull the same trick on Beau. The two of them exchanged a smile as the respective objects of their affection fixed their hair and dusted themselves off.

Then they felt Caleb step up to their side, felt him slide his fingers slowly and carefully into theirs and gods, even that alone was enough to make their knees feel weak, enough to make them dizzy with how much they loved him. Today of all days, that realization seemed especially weighty.

When they looked at him, he was still smiling, and they beamed back in turn. “Ready?” they asked.

He nodded, without hesitation. _“Ja_.”

Then, with a squeeze of hands and one last kiss, the two of them turned and started off down the street in the company of their friends, towards the distant and familiar tumult of a parade about to get underway. 

 


End file.
